living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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