how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
