i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
