DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
