Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
