I seem to have left my pride at pride
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
