Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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