Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
