grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
