New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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