So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
