Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
