I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
