Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
