Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
