I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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