No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
