Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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