omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
