Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize