my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize