Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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