Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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