How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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