The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You're breaking my sexual little heart
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
