just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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