Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
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it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
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They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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