just tell him i said nine months
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
