in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
