Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
