ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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