Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
