Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
