im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
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We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
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My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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