I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
