just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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