We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
