Christians are straight up FREAKS
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
