Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
