Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
The ass gains better be worth it
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