i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
