So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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