i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
