im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
