I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
God, I missed his penis.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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