She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
