Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
