Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
