Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
