I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
