no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize