every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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