1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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