big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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