And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
