I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
