I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she pinky promised me she was 18
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
