She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
