'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he puts the penis in happiness.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
