we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
